I’m going through my first sickness since the boys have been born. They have colds and I have what feels like the flu, even though I tested negative for the flu. I live over 2000 miles from any of my family and friends and my partner is only home during the week for about 5 hours a day, most of which is spent sleeping. For the most part I’m going through this basically alone.
My daily routine has gone out the door, my house is a mess, there is diapers piled high where I change the boys, and sometimes when I just can’t take their screams anymore I put them in their cribs, close the door, get in the shower, and I cry.
I’m here to tell all the moms out there desperately trying to meet the standards set for Moms today, that it is ok. It’s ok to not know what you are doing. It’s ok to let the housework fall behind. It’s ok if your scheduled activities and daily routine that includes tons of interactive activities for your baby doesn’t happen every single day. It’s ok to be a ‘bad’ mom sometimes. You don’t even have to be sick to make being a ‘bad’ mom ok.
Today, with social media, I feel like the pressure to be a perfect mom has become so intense and looming. However, we have to remember even the mom who seems perfect on Instagram is only posting the best parts of her day. There is this idea though that your child should never cry, you should always have a clean house, you should be finding all the new programs, toys, and apps that help with your child’s development and using them religiously, healthy, organic, non gmo food is all your kids should be eating, and so on and so forth.
Well I’m here today to tell you, it’s ok to not be perfect. Your child will cry and if ever there is a day you are at your wit’s end, it’s ok to put them down and walk away. Them crying once in awhile won’t hurt them, you snapping might. Your house doesn’t have to be perfect all the time, piles of diapers, dishes, or laundry is fine. It happens, sometimes keeping up with caring for them, yourself, and maybe even your partner can be overwhelming at times. If tummy time doesn’t happen every single day, or you don’t use that new whatever that’s supposed to make them smarter than other babies their age as consistently as it says you should, you aren’t a bad mom and it’s not going to hurt your child. Heck whenever I feel bad for missing a day of tummy time or developmental music, I remember that my mom never did that with me and I’m working on a doctorate and did ballet for years, my muscles and brain ended up fine. I also never ate organic, non gmo, local, foods with no preservatives, and I’m a pretty healthy person.
It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s ok to put yourself first some days. It’s ok to be a ‘bad mom’.